From the halls of stupid inventions, I present to you the WineRack.

Of course there’s the other personal pov, as I’m originally from Orlando (alternatively known as “what’s wi-fi? ya mean that thar internet needs no wires? well garsh dang it!”). The last time I checked, free wi-fi was only available in “certain” hotel lobbies and one (yes, one) coffee shop in Winter Park. Of course you could always succumb to the T-Mobile Hot Spot and get ass raped pay $10, or break your contract, pay the fees, and buy a $400 iPhone and use it at Starbucks. I guess having my crackberry comes in handy at those times. So yeah, I know how suck it is to have to pay for access.

Not to come off sounding like I have zero morals, though. I’ve got, like, 4 or something! I do understand that getting something for free which you should pay for is theft. Yes. Promise. But what if it’s something that should be free to start with? [insert big debate here.] Does Hartsfield really need the money when I’m still paying $5 for a bottle of water anyway? Or, is this some giant conspiracy to get as much money as possible since I’m delayed every.fucking.time. at ATL? Come on Shirley, say it ain’t so!

Bitches.

Everybody’s doing it.

So there.

I plan on doing my own flowers for the wedding,so I figured that I’d just take care of the bouts myself (especially after taking my floral design class this summer and hearing all the professional florists in there cackle about how much they’re charging unwitting brides and grooms for something so simple). Yet, there is one very big problem with bouts and corsages that I won’t have with the bouquets: they tend to travel and keep very poorly, leaving people with crushed and/or wilted flowers within hours of an event. Sad, since they are so pitiful and tiny. You could put them into corsage “boxes”, which are plastic and keep them from getting smooshed, but then you also have to keep them chilled. May be a tad bit hard when you’re chasing after seven different members of a wedding party.

I did come across some pretty awesome silk ones on Etsy (of course), but after some back and forth, it only inspired me to make them myself after seeing the price tags ($14 x 7 = ouch for something I have little interest in). I’m cheap? So yeah, here we go:

1. Cut florals & decor into small pieces as desired (if using silks, then they just snap off the stems - easy peasy).

2. Attach to floral wire. Pull the floral tape to make it tacky, then wrap around wires and secure florals.

3. Continue wrapping tape down to cover wire. Add more floral/decor if needed, using same technique.

4. Cut wire to desired length.

5. Wrap ribbon around taped stem, securing with hot glue along the way.

Messy workspace:

Finished product:

Ta da! I made the bulk of these sitting in Trackside, drinking a Guiness, and hanging out with the girls. It’s really that easy.

Supplies & cost breakdown:

feathers from a Native American farm in Wisconsin - $3
pack of corsage pins - $2
various silk & dried florals - $14
2 spools of ribbon - $5
floral wire & tape - $4

Stuff I already had:

wire cutters - $0
glue & glue gun - $0

Total = $28 for total of seven (7) = $3.25 per boutonniere.

Yesterday Mr. and Mrs. P’body, the Mr., Dave, and myself were going to do a Junior’s reunion of sorts after work. There we were, getting ready to grab our baskets and wave chicken tenders in the air, until we found out that Junior’s closes after lunch because of summer hours. Yeah, the Tech grads and Tech employee didn’t remember that. Doh! It was fine, though, and we continued our fest over at (where else) Rocky Mountain, where we had buffalo pizza and electric blue colored shots before throngs of undergrads swarmed the place. We had grand plans of hitting the Highlander afterward, but grease + beers + colored shots in plastic cups did me in, and I was the sensible adult who went home and packed for her flight. Whose old?!

Today we wanted to have our last cuban with Kool Korner, only to realize that the previous sign saying that it was staying open until July 31st no longer applied. SIGH. We then had a memorial lunch of fried chicken and cornbread at Bobby & June’s.

I hope they don’t plan on going anywhere, either.